why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
