so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
