Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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