do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
