party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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