I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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