I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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