omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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