Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
