Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
