I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
