my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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