How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
