finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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