I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
