ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
