Reggie can tackle my bush.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
