Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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