this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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