I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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