We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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