i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
