smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
