Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
