it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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