I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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