I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need to sanitize my soul.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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