end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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