Whod you bang
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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