What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
