So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Randomize
