where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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