you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
