I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
third nipple confirmed
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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