How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
