drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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