real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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