How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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