Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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