Already got asked if we're dating
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just want nice things and good sex
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
