just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
