HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
