Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
