You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
