ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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