I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
