I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sponge bath it is.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
