i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
