The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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