yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
