just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
