The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
